Becoming Unstuck

Dear Diary,

I need to write this down. I don’t ever want to forget the best 3 weeks of my short life so far. I never planned to travel to New Zealand. I mean I had just gotten back from 2 months travelling Europe while on a Contiki. That trip was planned. New Zealand wasn’t. It was completely impulsive and disorganised. One minute I was chatting in the Contiki group chat about prices of flights and cheap places to travel to. Then the next thing I know  I am sitting on my laptop with the Jet-star web page open and I’ve booked 3 weeks to NZ. 28th of December 2017 until the 17th of January 2018. At the time it seemed like plenty of time, but now I wish I had forever there.

I originally planned to travel around with Emma, a girl from my Contiki who previously lived in NZ, for a week or so. While the other half would be spent with my NZ family.  And I guess I did that… but I feel like I did so much more. I think in those 3 weeks I begun to find myself away from home. Especially after feeling so stuck in Melbourne for so long. I mean I have been working the same job for 4 years. Don’t get me wrong I love my job and the people I work with, but there is only so long I can work in food hospitality. 4 years I’ve been there. Ever since I was 16. Every weekend. Every night but Tuesday.

My life was in a rut.

I never truly got to be a teenager. While everyone my age was going out, even simply hanging out with each other, forming life long friendships, making memories to tell their children one day, I was working. Okay, I know I shouldn’t be complaining. I am damn lucky to have a job and a life, but I wasn’t truly living. Mum suggested the yesterday the reason I have fallen in love with travelling so much is because I got the chance to experience everything I missed out on in my high school years.

Maybe she was right. Mother’s usually are.

But I think the reason I loved New Zealand so much was because of a boy… A young man I should say.

Doesn’t it always come down to a guy?

So fucking cliche. I know. But don’t judge me. You may understand… or maybe you won’t. That’s okay.

But you didn’t get to meet him. You didn’t get to feel the way he made me feel. You didn’t feel the softness of his skin beneath your fingertips. Or his lips against yours. And you sure as hell didn’t get to see the way he looked at me. With those piercing eyes.

He made me feel good about myself. Something that I haven’t felt in a long time. He made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

And no, not sexy or hot… but beautiful. Which is something completely different I have learned. And every girl should be made to feel like that at least once in her life.

So, Diary, I just want to thank him. Thank him from the bottom of my heart. I may never see him again and that is okay. You want to know why? Because him along with the other incredible people I met in New Zealand have made me realise there is a whole lot more to life than working and simply existing.

So, thanks to him and New Zealand I think I might slowly be becoming unstuck.

With hope, Sticky Girl 🙂

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